Food Addiction and the Importance of Mindset

This post is meant to serve both as an informational one for you, and a therapeutic one for me. I am severely overweight: 366.6 lbs. as of the writing of this blog post. I have gained exactly 6 pounds since February 5, 2010.  I am willing to allow for fluctuations due to water weight, clothes, time of day, etc. but that is a tough way to explain 6 pounds. I know the truth deep down, I have fallen off the wagon, and I have not been eating right all the time; more importantly, I have not exercised much at all. Once this month is all. I have also fallen into the "tomorrow" trap. The "tomorrow trap" is the mindset that we are all very good at getting into "This is my last day, tomorrow, I get serious" Well, here is the truth: TODAY IS NOW, TOMORROW NEVER COMES. Every day is today, we never live tomorrow, we only live today.

TODAY, I GET BACK ON THE WAGON. 


I have started today with a meal of steel cut oats; it is healthy, full of fiber, and good for me. Furthermore, I have learned to enjoy it. I have often heard that it can be helpful to equating food to fuel. Hamburgers and fast food is equivalent to the crappy, sludge causing gas that gunks up your system and eventually causes your car to die an early death. Oatmeal, fruits, vegetables, fibrous foods, are equivalent to top-notch gasoline with STP fuel cleaner in it: not only does it make your system run well, it can even clean out the crap that has been left in there from previous bad fuels.
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If you think of it that way, it makes eating well an easier decision...sometimes. It is also very important to understand your own motivations. This can be difficult for us, because to admit we have a problem is difficult, particularly for men, who always have to not have problems, and always solve it on our own. I have been there, denying, ignoring my weight, saying "I'm a high functioning fat person, I can still run, I can still get up the stairs without getting winded". I have actually said: "I can get up the stairs without losing my breath". Can you imagine being in a physical state where getting up the stairs without becoming winded is a VICTORY? 

I am getting older, and my knees hurt sometimes, my lower back hurts sometimes, my gut hurts, my body is telling me all day, every day "something is wrong, fix it now!". The problem is, when those aches are all you have ever known, it does not seem like anything is wrong. I am SO good at denying there are any issues with me, that somehow my severe weight level is okay, because I live a healthy enough life. News flash for me: Double the weight of an optimum weight person is not a healthy enough life. 

Here is a startling statistic, I am obese. At 366.6 pounds, I have to lose 149.6 pounds to be OVERWEIGHT. I need to lose a normal weight for a 5' 3.5" person to become OVERWEIGHT. To become optimum weight, I need to lose 186.6 pounds. I am supposed to lose more weight than I should weigh at the end of things. 

I just noticed another thing: while writing that last paragraph, I got scared, and I reached for another spoonful of my oatmeal...emotional eating in action. Looking back on my life, I can see that I was set up for weight gain, nearly everyone in my family is not just overweight, but huge. Rather, they all WERE huge. There are still a few of us, but a number of my cousins have lost boatloads of weight. Who can blame us, either, we were in a big Italian family. Family dinner meant 2-3 entrees, 3-5 side dishes, a loaf of bread, pop for some, milk or water for others, and anywhere from 3-6 desserts. The idea was to have choice, the reality was that we all ate some of everything. 

The other things is: and I know it will probably pain him to hear it, but I always wanted to be like my dad (still do). When we went out to eat, he at everything, he sometimes ate what my mom or sister didn't, until, of course, I was old enough to help them out with what they couldn't finish. All You Can Eat buffets were not dinner, they were a chance to get your money's worth. I don't at all blame him for my weight gain; he was living the life he was used to living, I just tagged along. We are a product of the environment we live in, and Italians eat.

Like I said, a large portion of my extended family was huge; my cousins all lost a ton of weight, my uncles are all on weight watchers, aunts losing weight, my father losing weight. And therein lies my greatest motivation in the world. Deep down, I still want to be like my father, and he has done more in the past year than I can imagine. He has been so, unbelievably motivational. I don't blame him for my weight gain, but I most certainly attribute some of the 40+ pounds I have lost thusfar to him. I have a picture of him on my wall of motivation. I love talking to him about his journey. He is such a strong person, to be able to do this, and that is all the motivation I should need. I know that by him losing all of this weight, he is saving not only his life, but mine as well. I can only imagine he has already added 10 years to his life span, and he has an opportunity to add probably another 15-20 years.

In the old days, when we were together, him taking another slice of bread, another serving of lasagna, another cookie was license for me to do so. Now, his ability to refuse that extra serving of lasagna is enough to drive me to turn down another serving. Sure, I might have another serving the next day (leftover lasagna is delicious) but my body can handle that much better than putting a serving of lasagna on top of an already full stomach.

Before I go further, I should mention that one book that has been instrumental in helping me to address my food addiction and my personal demons is The Hungry Years: Confessions of a Food Addict it is a great book, in which food addiction is compared cocaine addiction, or alcohol addiction (two addictions I have not had personal experience with, but I can only imagine are horrible). The problem with food addiction is: you cannot stop eating food. You are an alcoholic, you stop drinking for the rest of your life; that is not to say it is easy, but once it is out of your system, it is not a major issue. Imagine telling an alcoholic, you have to have one drink, three times a day, every day for the rest of your life, but you can't go back to being an alcoholic. No alcoholic in alcohol's multiple millenia history could do that. 

The key is to change my mindset about food: FOOD IS FUEL. There are two people in the world, those who base their thoughts around food, and those who don't. Some people go out to a restaurant as a means to do a required activity, and to socialize with others. The most important part is the socializing, when I go to a restaurant, all I care about it when the waiter is bringing the bread, when is our food going to arrive, I wonder, should I get a dessert? What about soup, that sounds good, ooh, but if I get soup, and an entree, and a dessert, I'll look like a fatty (yeah, THAT'S what's going to make me look fat, it's not the 180 pounds of excess body fat) so I better just choose one or the other...maybe I could split a dessert with another person. 

Meanwhile, you are all talking about important matters that would probably interest me if food weren't in question. 

It isn't always that bad, but food is definitely always at the back of my mind, I can rarely just enjoy the conversation. Then the food comes, and the girl across the table isn't going to eat all of her pasta...god that looks good. I can't ask to try it though, that would make me look like a fatty, so maybe if she offers, I'll say I'll try a bite. Just a bite, but...if she's not going to eat it all, or take it home, maybe two bites. No, just say no, or you'll look like a fatty...okay, one bite is ok. My main issue is that food is a pleasure item, not a fuel item. Therein lies the problem, when you eat for pleasure, that is all you are interested, you will eat until you stop feeling pleasure; you will feel pleasure until you are so stuffed that it hurts...physically HURTS to eat more. Again, this isn't always the case, but it is the reason I cannot go to all you can eat buffets anymore, it is the reason I can't cook food to have leftovers. I once made a quadruple batch of lentils and rice, and stored it in three servings, and served a bowl for lunch. All four servings were gone by the time I went to bed that night.

All of this has been written as a means of me kind of getting into my head. Writing can be therapeutic, and as a guy, I have trouble straight up asking to talk to someone; talking to an "anonymous" source lets me get my thoughts out, and allows for some therapeutic thinking.

Travel Espresso Maker

Let it be officially known, I have accepted a job for post-graduation. It will require extensive travel (4 days per week) and it is definitely in the area I have been hoping for. I will be an associate consultant; I have desired to become a consultant since before I began college. Nearly everything I did in college was based on tailor making my resume for a consulting position. Granted, I did not know too much about what I should be doing (case competitions, consulting organizations, etc.) so I was doing more general Supply Chain Management stuff, but I tried. Well, it all paid off, since I will be starting July 5 as an associate consultant!

Anyway, since I will be travelling so much, that means I will be a victim of hotel coffee...yuck! Anyone who truly loves coffee that has been in a hotel knows how truly terrible the coffee is. The stuff in the room is the worst, though the stuff at the continental breakfast is not much better. 

I DO love a good espresso from time to time, however, so I thought, "Hey, didn't I see a travel espresso maker in Sky Mall?" So I did a quick internet search, and I DID see it somewhere, though I don't know if it was Skymall (I'm sure it was, come on, travel espresso makers are pretty much made for Sky Mall)

I found two different models (serious models) and one that looks pretty crappy. The three are:

• The MyPressi Twist
• The HandPresso Wild 16-Bar Hand Pump Espresso Machine
• The AeroPress Coffee and Espresso Maker

The MyPressi and HandPresso both looked very nice and professional, the AeroPress looked cheap, and based on reviews is nothing too special. So I was left with two products to look at: They both have strong reviews, and both produce what looks to be a solid cup of coffee:

           

(Left: HandPresso, Right: MyPressi)

After lots of research, what I found is that the MyPressi is probably a better idea for most people. A lot of people who purchase these espresso makers use them in the office or on the go (car, etc.) and as such just need a quality product. The MyPressi uses a CO2 canister (like paintball guns) and appears to do a great job of creating espresso easily.

The HandPresso uses hand pumping to build up to 16 bars of pressure to extract the coffee (espresso is created by pushing hot water through tightly packed grounds at a high pressure - 231.1 psi). The major issue here, is the travel aspect. I cannot take CO2 canisters on the airplane anywhere anytime, ever. That is the major issue for me, and it will ultimately make the decision for me. 

If I did not have to travel with this, I would probably go with the MyPressi, but anyone who might want to take this with you while traveling will want to get the HandPresso. 

Both of these machines uses ESE coffee pods, though the myPressi can use regular coffee as well, which is an advantage. ESE coffee pods (ESE = Easy serving espresso) can be purchased with the actual coffee in them (here).

Anyway, enjoy the knowledge, and if you love espresso, this is probably worth trying out!

Make Real Beer in your Mr. Beer

A few days ago I talked about using the Mr. Beer kit. I should have mentioned that you can use the Mr. Beer fermenter to make your own beer recipe, without using one of their kits. You simply make a 2 gallon batch of beer and use the Mr. Beer keg for fermenting it. This is a safe way to move into "legitimate" beer brewing, with much less expense. I have a recipe for a very basic Hefeweizen that I love to make, and I have scaled it to a 2 gallon recipe. Enjoy!

2 Gallon Hefeweizen

• 2.2 pounds Dry Wheat Extract (Here)
• 1/2 ounce German Hallertau Whole Hops (Here)
• WLP300 Hefeweizen Yeast (Here)

1. Boil 1/4 c. of Dry Extract in 2 gallons of water with all of the hops for 45 min.
2. After 45 minutes, add the rest of the malt extract and boil for the remaining 15 minutes
3. Remove from the heat and cool
4. Add to the fermenter, top up to 2 gallons in the fermenter with spring water
5. Pour in Yeast vial, and seal up the fermenter

Once fermentation is finished, prime with 3.3 oz. of sugar. The easiest way is to use something like Munton's CarbTabs, which has pre-measured tablets, with dextrose, spray-dried extract, and heading powder. You can find more information here. You can buy the CarbTabs at any brewers supply store or website. If you use CarbTabs, you won't need to add any sugar to prime the bottles.

Enjoy the recipe, anyone who loves wheat beers will love a good hefeweizen. Enjoy!

Make Your Own Beer, Without a Stove

The Problem

Ok, so, beer can be quite expensive. After a while, you will start to notice that you are spending more money than you should on beer; well, if you're like most college students, that is (note: if you are under 21, you shouldn't be drinking anyway, it's important to wait until you are 21 to start drinking...)

Many people toy around with the idea of making their own beer, it seems like a great idea, doesn't it? The problem is: most kits require you to make 5 gallons of beer at a time, and require a stove. I tried this...and it worked, but it was a TON of work, and the product wasn't great. Now that I have an apartment, I make my own beer, the real way, and it is very delicious. I actually just bottled 25 bottles of a Hefeweizen, and it should be delicious.

The Solution

Anywho, back to the topic at hand; making your own without a stove. The Mr. Beer kit is really great for starting out at making beer. While you do not make world class beers with Mr. Beer, you can make a very tasty product, and you will definitely enjoy making, and drinking it. We figured out you could have 2 gallons of beer ready to drink per week when I first started doing this. Our plan was to buy up to 9 Mr. Beer kits and have 18 gallons ready per week. Then, we would sell the beer and make a handsome profit. (This did not work because 1. It is Illegal, and 2. It requires large amounts of capital, and 3. It is Illegal. Don't make beer if you're too young, and DON'T EVER SELL YOUR BEER!)

You can get a kit from Amazon, or other websites, and it will have enough to make one batch of beer (2 gallons). After that, you can buy refill kits to keep making beer. You might need some bottles, as well to fill up with delicious beer. Once you have the things you need, there is a slight change in procedure that you will need to follow, but I have outlined it below.

1. Sanitize the keg as usual: all sanitization steps will be exactly the same
2. Sprinkle a little bit (1 teaspoon) of the booster into 4 cups of water in a microwave safe container which will hold the liquid. Microwave until it is nearly boiling (microwaved water will not actually boil, unless a container is made for it)
3. Stir in the booster, slowly
4. Stir in the canned malt extract. Re-microwave to heat up if required
5. After this, all the steps are the same. I have made Mr. Beer with the microwave before, and it turned out great. I highly recommend it.

Once you get into this, it is possible to catch the "bug" of homebrewing. Once you have the space to do it, and you would like to step into "real" beer making, you can try out a few sources for information. One is a DVD that is pretty popular. It lays out all the steps needed to make beer from malt extract. There are further DVD's with more advanced techniques.

Some books that are also helpful are:

• The Complete Joy of Homebrewing by Charlie Papaizian
• Designing Great Beers by Ray Daniels
• Clone Brews by Mark Szamatulski
• How to Brew by John Palmer - This one is free online, and has all the basic info you need
• Brew Your Own Magazine
• BasicBrewing Podcasts - Video and Radio podcasts dedicating to the art of brewing beer

So, that's a basic overview of how to get into brewing your own beer; in a small confined space, and in an apartment. Once you get into brewing beer, it can take off and you can start making lots of beer :) I currently have probably 100 bottles in my stash, just waiting for a thirsty day.

Happy Brewing!

Save Money with Hydroponics!

I have started a hobby that, at the very least, is very fun, and it can in fact save you money. I have started growing my own vegetables in a hydroponic garden. There are some VERY complicated hydroponic systems out there, then there is the system I use, which is called a deep water culture. Basically, my plants sit in little pots full of hydroton (basically soil for hydroponic systems, it's actually clay pebbles) over water in a rubbermaid tub. Once my plants start producing, I should save TONS of money on vegetables. Peppers and tomatoes can be expensive, as can fresh herbs, so this can save you serious money in the long run.

The system I built cost me about $40-$50 to get going. However, that cost is higher because I did not price shop (please price shop) and I had to buy a separate light, instead of installing an incandescent plant light into a lamp I already owned (which I highly suggest)

The following video gives a good breakdown about how to start building a hydroponic garden

A few things that are different with my system:

• His is a larger system, I used a smaller tub, and did not have a problem with the sides bowing out (too much)
• I keep mine indoors, so I also use a plant light during the night time (this way, I get about 18 hours of "sun" on my plants per day")
• I bought my stuff at Meijer and a hydroponics store.
• I cut my top with a utility knife (a.k.a. box cutter, a.k.a. exacto knife), once you get a hole going, it is quite simple to cut the plastic with a sharp blade. (Word of warning, be careful with a sharp blade, always)
• I did not cut "slits", I simply cut holes so that I could rest the pots in the plastic
• It's not a "neti" pot, it's a "net" pot (Click here to see what a "neti" pot is)
• I eyeballed where to cut the holes. His is much more precise, mine required much less effort...you can decide how you would like to do yours

If you can find a shallow tub that allows you to build a system, I would recommend it. There is not reason to keep 12 gallons of liquid in a tub when you don't need it.

The most amazing tip about planting seeds in hydroponic gardens!

If you want/can buy plants to transplant, go for it; I could not, since I started my garden in the winter in Michigan. I bought seeds, however, and I figured out you can plant directly into your hydroton. I simply dropped 2-3 seeds (for larger plant seeds like tomatoes, peppers, and basil) or sprinkled seeds (for smaller seeds like oregano and thyme) onto the hydroton in the basket.

1. Fill basket half full with hydroton
2. Sprinkle (small seeds) or place 2-3 large seeds on the hydroton
3. Cover to about 3/4 of the way up the basket with hydroton
4. Once seeds have sprouted and are tall enough, offer more support for the stalk with hydroton filled to the top of the basket

If you cannot find a store which sells these items, I have put together a little aStore on amazon which has all the items you will need with the exception of the giant tub. Furthermore, if you want different seeds, you can either search amazon, or simply find them at a grocery store (some grocery stores will still carry them)

If any of that is unclear (and it is very likely that some of it is) or if you would like some clarification, just leave a comment and I will reply with more details.

Here are some pictures of my hydroponic garden:

The Air stone:

The pots barely touch the water:
Tomato plants:
The pepper plant:

Keeping Yourself Accountable

January - Over.

My record based on the Seinfeld calendar for exercising: 27/31

That's pretty good, working out to 87% completion; 90% would be better, 100% desired, but looking back, I have no regrets.

The days I missed were interview related; after a long day of interviews, it's too difficult to go ahead and work out. With that said, every day I do not have an 'X' I actually did SOMETHING, but not enough for me to justify that in my mind, because that would sabotage me later on.

For Example:

"Well, 20 minutes of cardio should be enough to count it, I've already done that twice"

"You know, 10 minutes is ok, because I went pretty hard during those ten minutes"

"Well, I didn't actually 'work out' per se, but I walked a lot around campus"

"I didn't lift weights, but I did lug around my backpack, and that is quite heavy"

"I didn't do anything today, but I did get out of bed, that should count"

Blam, suddenly you find yourself doing nothing, and, worst-of-all, it is all justified in your mind.

This calendar is keeping me accountable, because I can see, and everyone else can see, how much I worked out. I also purchased a scale, and once it comes, I will take daily measurements, and graph it. This will also be posted in my room, for all to see.

"Hmm, I'm kind of embarrassed about 380, but, I won't be embarrassed if that was my starting point and I have lost 30 pounds"

So you can see, it is all about accountability, because we're all too persuasive to ourselves; we can make ourselves believe anything, so don't let your mind start to persuade you, fight back and do what is right!

My First Missed Day of the Year, and How to GET PSYCHED!

I have been keeping up the working out every day thing for 19 days of this year, then, two days ago, the career fair ambushed me. I went so hard all day that I decided not to do my cardio that day. Then, yesterday, I had another marathon, and I plainly forgot to do my weights. So, as a result, my calendar looks something like this:

That's okay with me though. 19 days in a row is quite impressive. So, in order to prove that I'm awesome, I now have to go 20 days in a row, to beat that streak. That means, including today (already rode the bike for 45 minutes) I have to go once a day until Wednesday, February 10th, though by no means does that mean that I want to only go 20 days.

So, I'll keep it short for today, but that's a little update on my main goal of the year. Oh, as far as affirmations, I got my favorite one I think. It's from How I Met Your Mother (a new favorite show) and it's simple: "I'm Awesome".

Oh, also, to get myself psyched up when I need it, I've been using a playlist from the show to get psyched. I can't confirm that this is the proper playlist, but it's based on general consensus from multiple sources. Here it goes:

Barney Stinson's Get Psyched Playlist

1. You Give Love a Bad Name - Jonathan B. Jovi

2. I Wanna Rock - Twisted Sister

3. The Humpty Dance - Digital Underground

4. Don't Stop Believing - Journey

5. Lick it Up - KISS

6. Paradise City - Guns N' Roses

7. Tom Sawyer - Rush

8. The Theme from Transformers [80's Version] - Lion

9. Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol

10. Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions

11. Come Sail Away - Styx

12. Free Bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd

13. Panama - Van Halen

14. Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield

15. Talk Dirty to Me - Poison

16. Thunderstruck - AC/DC

17. High Enough - Damn Yankees

18. Hip Hop Hooray - Naughty by Nature

19. Dr. Feelgood - Mötley Crüe

20. Round and Round - Ratt

It's pretty cool, because when I turn it on, I make it so that I get psyched, so when Bon Jovi first comes on, I start to get really psyched. It's all an association thing, so make sure that you associate this playlist with getting psyched up initially, then, afterward, it WILL get you psyched up always!

So...I didn't keep it as short as I thought I would, but still, it's a good playlist, and a GREAT technique for getting psyched up.